Paul Reconsiders Republican Nomination; Switches to Democratic Party

Long Island, New York (March 25) - Paul Chomicki decided to reconsider seeking the Republican nomination after a night of discussion with advisors. "Mom and Dad learned that George Bush has already secured enough delegates for the Republican nomination." With the G.O.P. nomination already secured, Paul has announced that he will run for the Democratic nomination.

Paul immediately put claims that he would change his views to any party necessary to win the nomination to rest. He sternly rejected that his views no longer reflected his own and now matched the Democrats to win the Party's support: "What's a Democrat?"

Paul said he was anxious to start campaigning in his new Party, "I look forward to this battle. Nothing can distract me from campaigning fiercely for this nomination, now that my favorite shows are in reruns." At a press conference, the Chomicki campaign press secretary laughed off concerns that mid-season replacement "Malcolm in the Middle" would keep Paul occupied and off the campaign trail, "That's ridiculous. Not even Paul would watch that show."